Phil's Confessional

[Phil]

This is where I'll get mad and take my anger out on everyone and hopefully make them cry later.

[Phil]

EPISODE ONE

EXPECTATION: PHILLIP SHEPPARD IS BACK AND READY TO WREAK HAVOC ON THESE SO CALLED "ALL-STAR" JABRONIES. Maybe I got caught sleeping in that other All-Stars, but I just got PTSD from being thrown back into Vietnam. But I've been meditating, doing jigsaw puzzles, and reading philosophy. As a result my body is strong and nimble, and my mind is sharper than ever before. I'm gonna be the Ultimate All Star and I dare y'all to try to stop me!

REALITY: K yeah I'm like, gonna do terrible at this lmao. I actually like my tribe, and I think we're a good group who can kick a** at challenges (see: Immunity Challenge #1). I know a handful of my tribe, but I wouldn't say I'm close with any of them. The people that I talk to on a regular basis are on the other tribe, OOPS. I could have predicted that. So, yeah I'm just basically gonna try to be nice to everyone and that I can just smilesmile my way through all the swaps that are bound to take place. 

There's probably a majority alliance that's already been set up. Potentially a majority cross tribal alliance, knowing these folks. I'm not a popular person on this website, but I'm fairly well liked. However, I might have this reputation of being like this random likeable outsider who enjoyed f*cking up the majority alliance from the inside, so OOPS again. But that's definitely how I'm gonna approach this game. I'm just like, convinced that I'm already on the outside and I just have to talk to people to figure out who the f*ck is in power and figure out the best time to take someone out. I'm already starting to work on some individual relationships though, so hopefully that can be my strength and I can just sort of navigate the first few week until the power dynamics are suddenly public to the whole game. 

ASSESSING COMPETITION: The first people that reached out to me were Jhonmarco and James. I think they're the only people who I talked to before the game was officially on. We made loose deals, because duh. Does that count as pre-gaming? I don't know. I'm not 100% on either of these deals, just because I'm me and I don't trust easily. I like both James and Jhonmarco, and I could see myself working with them both. After the tribes were revealed, I was actually pretty happy with mine. I like everyone (read: there's no one I f*cking despise). People like Alad, Vova, Briq, Kenny, solid guys who all know eachother pretty well and are in La Familia together, so they have a long history. I don't know Lan, Sammy, Alex, or Jacob, but having those unknowns is actually nice for me. I'm hoping to reach out to some of them and maybe have a close working relationship with them. Jhon seems more of an outsider. I think he's seen as sneaky in these games, but I think it would actually be good of me to work with him if I think he's an outsider.

The person that I was drawn to the most was Jimmy. I had lowkey wanted to work with Jimmy in the previous All-Stars game. Then there was some dumb a** drama in that game, something with vets anti vets, and it didn't work out, and I left early lmao. He seems like a cool guy, and we had this connection from the previous game that I think we can build off. I also feel like we're both outsiders on this tribe, so I think it would be really good of us to have this close alliance and try to get information about the tribe and just work together.

I'm also planning to get really close to Alad. I really like Alad and we've remained friends outside of games. I've talked to him more than probably anyone else on my tribe outside of the game, but we're not like tight tight, but I think we're both just cool with each other and we can work with each other and have mutual respect for each other. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to always be paranoid that he has more connections to this tribe than I do (i.e. La Familia). But I want to use this to my advantage and basically offer myself up to him as a side ho. I have absolutely no problem being his side piece. I'm gonna be fishing for information from him the entire time, and if I feel like he's closer with a bunch of other people than he is to me, then I'm gonna just work on getting rid of those people so that he has to be closer to me than others. 

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: So I missed the challenge, surprise surprise. Who would have thought the challenge would be so easy that it could be completed in 30 minutes, or whatever. I still had an hour left for work so I just completely missed it, OOPS. Jhonmarco and Alad were blowing up my snapchat like telling me to get online or whatever, but I didn't see in time. I was initially irritated af that I missed the challenge, because I thought I was literally the only person who missed the challenge (I later found out that Alex missed it too, so yay). I was paranoid that I was already gonna look bad for not participating, and that that would factor into the game later. Then I decided to spin the situation in the positive and use my absence as a reason to start talking game to Alad. So I basically told Alad right away that I was worried that I looked bad, and he basically was just like, "nah you good" and I immediately joked about how I didn't wanna be on the bottom, hoping to get some information if any sort of majority of possible pecking order has been established by anyone. He told me that I definitely wasn't at the bottom. Hopefully he has some insight into what other people think of me, and as long as I'm not on anyone's radar, I'm cool. I told him I spoke to Jhon and Briq (briefly), and he was reminded that Jhon and Briq have a connection. Alad seems to be slightly wary of Jhon because he basically told me to keep close to Jhon. So it looks like Alad wants to keep tabs on Jhon. Good to know. I won't be providing tons of details about Jhon to Alad, but I can sorta keep tabs on him a little and feed whatever I need to Alad just to make myself useful to Alad. Never hurts to try to seem important to someone. If Alad wants to think he "has pull" with me, that's fine by me! Alad also mentioned Jacob as someone he could potentially have pull with, so that's interesting. I started to talking to Jacob shortly after the IC, and he's another person I think would be kinda fun to have some one-on-one alliance with. See where it goes. Alad also mentioned he's a little worried about Lan and Sammy, and that Sammy is a snake, hehe. Juicy, juicy, dis what I wanna hear. I'm also kind of in agreement that Sammy is a threat, because like everyone loves him and he wins a lot of games or something, and he's about to win Big Brother. Also, he hasn't messaged me but he's been around a lot and so I know he's talking to someone. And that someone ain't me, so we'll see. But I think he's intriguing so I will have to message him just so he can't target me for not talking to him, teehee. I don't know sh*t about Lan or Alex though. Alex seems to be on the outside as well, having not participated in the challenge, and then Alad almost forgot his name. So, at least I think he could be a target before me as long as I stay social and do well in challenges. The fact that I missed the first challenge just makes me mad that there will be extra pressure for me to perform well at future challenges. But whatever, I can do it, I'm just a busy adult with very important things to do, gosh.

[Phil]

EPISODE TWO

Yo for real I thought we were about to go to Tribal Council there for a second and I was real scared. I was real scared because I actually think Survivor was gonna be my strong category, but I was just too slow. I was DETERMINED to actually score a point for my tribe, since I had been getting them all right, just always being too damn slow. I CANNOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY GOT ONE RIGHT! LMAO! I felt so good, it's not even funny. It's such a stupid thing, but I felt good, IDGAF! And then I set it up for Alad to win, but I knew he would do it, AND HE DID! MUAHAHAHAHA. 

You know what though, I almost didn't come to this challenge, but I'm glad I did. All I needed to do was contribute to a challenge win somehow. Even if it was a small amount, I needed to do something. Cuz my social game so far hasn't really been on point. So either nothing is really going on, or stuff is going on and I'm just not part of any of it lmaooo.

The nice thing is that Kenny messaged me before the comp asking where my heads at, saying we're loyal guys, and we should work together. Of course I agreed, man! I mean, yeah I think I can work with Kenny. He likes to game, so I think if I can work with him, I can at least get some information. And I can be loyal to Kenny, idfc, why not? He's not one of my targets (I don't really have a target, but you know), so I am absolutely open to working with Kenny. I'm trying to build something with Jimmy, who I think has been trying to build something with Kenny? Jimmy said that Kenny didn't really offer anything, so I guess I'll just have to follow up with Jimmy about what Kenny said to me and see if Jimmy's made any headway with Kenny. So, I mean, basically, I'm gonna try to work something with Jimmy and Kenny, and hopefully I'll find out who Kenny is working with. I guess I'm just gonna assume that Kenny is working with Mark and Alad to some extent, and since I'm also working something with Alad, I think it'll be a good way to go. 

There are some people on this tribe who aren't super active yet (Lan and Alex), so hopefully they'd be targets before me. And then there's Sammy who I dunno, I like him but I also just dont really know if I can build anything with him. He's super active and he has lots of posts in his confessional. And he's like the text book likeable person who does well at challenges who everyone likes so we can't possibly vote him off. But I'm also not sure how solid he is gonna be socially with people. Like Alad has already mentioned that he's worried about Sammy. I kind of am too. I just, I dunno, I think he's just gonna go far because of his personality, and even though I like him and I think he's a good person, I just don't know if I am gonna be able to become close to him socially because he's trying so hard to be social with everyone. I'm an introvert, y'all. I talk to people constantly at work. Hundreds to a thousand people a day, and it basically just tires me out, so deal with it. I GET THAT ITS A MOTHER f*ckING SOCIAL GAME but if ur a** gonna be constantly socializing I'm just not gonna want to keep up, sorry not sorry.

Anyway, I think the bottom line is that I'm in a good enough position that I won't be voted out of this tribe. I think that we'll win enough competitions that even if we lose a few times, we'll get swapped out of this tribe before I'm in any danger. I'm just saying that. I'm DETERMINED to not get burned by this tribe ok? I think I can do it, but you betta believe I ain't gonna just let these peeps walk all over me. I'M ALWAYS IN STEALTH MODE AND I'M READY TO PLAY, SO BET ON THAT AIGHT?

[Phil]

YO WAIT LOUNGE CHAIR #1 HAD A CLUE TO SOLVE THE ANAGRAM. NOW I FEEL PRESSURED TO TRY TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

Also the PM came right as I was telling Kenny I have no idea what the rewards are and I have no idea who's gotten any, and that I haven't tried solving the anagram.

Kenny told me that Sammy is trying to solve the anagram, so now I'm determined to figure it out before his a** and get that idol and pretend I don't know sh*t, liiiiiiiike. Game on.

[Phil]

EPISODE THREE

^{TFW you lose a challenge to a tribe that contains Ashley, Kaitlyn, Don, and E.} 

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: So TBH I really liked that challenge. I thought it was really fun, and it wasn’t too hard. I just don’t like the time limit. I actually found it to be a fun challenge. PLUS I ACTUALLY DID PRETTY GOOD on my trbe. I contributed more than my fair share, hehehehehe. Anyway, whatever, we lost. I’m acting more sad/disappointed than I really am. I actually don’t give a f*ck if we lost. In fact, I actually kiiind of prefer it because it means I can go into stealth mode and try to figure people out. And so far it’s gonna give me some intel for the inevitable swap.

TRIBAL COUNCIL: So far, the only person’s name that has been seriously brought up has been Lan. I’m ok with that because he’s literally one of the names I first thought of. I haven’t talked to him, he hasn’t contributed to challenges, and I don’t think he’d have an idol (more on that later!). I think it could be a safe vote. ALSO, if he does have an idol, I don’t necessarily think he’d immediately idol me unless I’m somehow the ONLY person who doesn’t talk to him before TC. TBH I don’t really want to message him if I’m gonna be voting for him. So, I hope this TC just goes off without a hitch, cuz whatever. I’m not ready for the bullsh*t yet.

But basically, I’m HAPPY we’re going to TC because I’m getting some good intel. TC is absolutely necessary to be able to get a good sense of who is working with who. IMMEDIATELY I’m getting a sense of certain groups, pairings, or at the very least who is talking to who. Alad is the first person who actually throws Lan’s name out, which is great, because I’m glad he threw the name out that I was actually just about to throw out. And probably everyone. The OTHER name that was thrown out was SAMMY. Which is interesting (or not, maybe, if you’re smarter than me smilesmile).

Jhon was the first person who mentioned Sammy’s name to me. I’m not sure how serious of a consideration it was though. Jhon and Briq seemed absolutely willing to vote for Sammy if suddenly the tides turned from Lan to Sammy. I think they’re also absolutely willing to just go with the majority and vote for Lan. Alad mentioned that he was gonna get Alex, Sammy, and Kenny on board with voting Lan. At first, I was like ALEX WHO. To me, Alex is kind of just there for me. Not someone I’m really communicating with. So to hear that somehow Alex is in the first wave of people who have been informed of the Lan vote is eye opening I guess. OK SO ALEX IS SOMEHOW IN THE MIX, AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW. Sammy and Kenny obviously have something going on. Kenny seemed to allude to it during our previous conversation.

I got the sense that Kenny and Sammy have some sort of deal just by the way Kenny was talking about how Sammy’s trying for the idol clue (more on that later gulp). So immediately, I know I gotta be careful about anything I say about Sammy, because I’m trying to work with Kenny too. I feel a lot freer to talk about Sammy in front of Briq/Jhon than I do in front of Alad/Kenny. I think Jhon mentioned to me that Sammy’s lowkey got a deal with Jacob. That’s fine. It actually makes sense. Sammy and Jacob were people that I only sorta talked to before this TC, and we didn’t even talk game at all. But those two are super active, so I think Sammy and Jacob have something worked out.

Then I started to talk to Sammy a bit about the Tribal Council and we basically agreed to vote Lan. He also straight up asked me about how I felt about Kenny/Jimmy, and tbh I’m on good terms with both (more on that later!) so I just told him that yeah, we’re cool. I’m working off the assumption that he’s good with Kenny, and Kenny’s good with Jimmy, so he wants to set up something with us four. And voila! Sammy wants to set up a “trustcluster” between him, me, Kenny, and Jimmy. TBH I’m ok with it. I trust Jimmy the most out of everyone. I want him to be my #1 and I want to be his #1. For us to set up something with Kenny/Sammy is good because I was a little uneasy with Sammy before today. Just coming to a loose agreement with him and Kenny is beneficial to my game. I’m not worried about even commiting 100% to it because we still have swaps (?) coming up. It sets me up for some wiggle room in a swap.

But I’m also building something with Briq/Jhon. Whatever information I pass to one, I make sure to pass the same information to the other. I think I’m good with them, and I’m also building some one-on-one trust with Jhon. Today I learned that he lowkey finds YM annoying, and lowkey wanted to vote him out first. Which is actually exactly what I wanted, LMAO. I just haven’t talked to YM and I don’t know if we’ll ever actually work together. ITS JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS f*ck OFF IF IT MAKES YOU MAD OK? I sort of get some juicy tidbits about people from Jhon, so it’s useful. I don’t necessarily spread it around, but it helps me talk to other people. Like, today I brought up how people are saying Sammy is sketchy in my conversation with Jimmy, and I think it surprised him. I think Jimmy would be completely ok joining a group with me/Kenny/Sammy, but I also wanna make sure that Jimmy trusts me more than he trusts Kenny/Sammy. I thought Kenny/Jimmy were friends. OMG I JUST REALIZED SHOULD I BE GOING BY PHILLY? JESUS f*ck what is with these Y names? Anyway. It actually sounds like Kenny doesn’t really give Jimmy much information right off the bat, haha. So honestly I am hoping I have a leg up socially/strategically when it comes to Jimmy. ESPECIALLY if this Jimmy/Sammy/Kenny/Philly thing becomes a real thing.

IMMUNITY IDOL: Ok so I realize I have a clue to the idol but I haven’t had ANY time to work on it. I’m actually glad that we lost the challenge since it means we don’t get reward which means no one else on my tribe gets the clue. SO I THINK SAMMY GOT THE FIRST CLUE. OR MAYBE KENNY IDFK. Kenny was going on and on and on about what the rewards could be or what the idol clue could be or whatever. Asking me all these questions about past game idols n sh*t. And I have this clue which I haven’t been able to look at, and f*ck YOU if I’m gonna tell you my clue or give you my clue without trying it myself. Like, gawrsh, leave a man be hahaha. Kenny said that Sammy has been trying for the idol, so I’m all like FUUUUUUUU I gotta get that idol and hope I’m not too late. Then I gotta spend all damn game lying to everyone about it. AND NOW IF WE’RE GONNA HAVE AN ALLIANCE WITH SAMMY/KENNY THEN YIKES IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE NERVOUS NOT TELLING THEM LMAO. But no, I straight up don’t trust them with that information, SORRY BYE. Anyway, UGH, I’m busy af too this weekend so I dunno if I can dedicate the time. SO UGH. I’ll try though, I swear I’ll be mad if I have this great opportunity and I just let it go by.


Anyway, that’s all I have so far. Honestly I think I'm doing ok. Enjoy!


Oh, and hey, Daring Tribe: “f*ck LEEU!” Die and burn and eat garbage.

[Brooke]

I read the entire thing. Phil be proud of me!

[Phil]

Tribal Council #3:

[LAN]

I don't think you're trying very hard to stay. At this point it's probably too late though.

[Phil]

TFW I get a vote at the first TC and it ruins my would-have-been perfect game.

[Phil]

EPISODE FOUR

So the first interesting thing that happened was that I had gotten a vote at the previous Tribal Council, which I was kind of pissed about but also just kind of laughed, because whatever. It sort of just gives me some semblance of a story line if I think that vote is relevant enough for me to dwell on in the future. I could go on a witch hunt and eliminate the f*ck outta that person, or I could ignore it and just move on. I sort of narrowed it down to three people: Lan, Alex, and Mark. I just assumed that Lan voted for Alad last Tribal Council, so I was down to Alex and Mark. At that point, I figured Mark just did it because I hadn't talked to him, and I got his a** out in a previous game and maybe he just doesn't trust me? Alad mentioned that he got Alex to vote for Lan, and since I think Alad and Alex are working closely together, it makes sense that Mark did it. However, Sammy tried to pin the vote on Alex, because he said Mark voted for Lan. TBH I decided I didn't REALLY care a whooole lot, but Sammy blaming Alex becomes relevant later, I guess.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: We lost the f*ck outta that one. Sadly I was driving from Minnesota to South Dakota (8 hours), so I had to literally pull over at some random gas station to participate. WHATEVER I LOST MY DUEL BUT I ALSO DON'T THINK I DID THAT f*ckIN' BAD, OKAY? Like at least I f*cking participated. Some people here just never show up, and I always get so paranoid about how much I suck and then I realize that people actually suck more than me so I should stop caring. 

TRIBAL COUNCIL: We immediately started to plot on who to vote out since a lot of people were online at that point. I, of course, being the determined lil b*tch I am, risked my LIFE by throwing out some texts on the road so I could stay up to date and not miss out on some of the early strategizing. Immediately, everyone agreed to vote out Alex. Everyone but Alad, that is. I'm pretty sure right away Kenny, Sammy, Briq, Jhon, and Vova agreed to vote Alex from the start. So ya, I agreed cuz I haven't talked to him and he's one person who could have voted for me (even though I still don't think it was him). But then shortly after that, Alad leaves me a voice message talking about how some sh*t is going down and the vote is gonna be for Sammy instead. INTERESANTE, ME LIKEY, ME LIKEY. It's funny because episode 1, my first targets probably would have been Sammy or Mark. But then by episode 2 or 3, Sammy had grown on me and I was talking to him more to the point where I was starting to get wrapped up in a possible alliance between him, me, Kenny, Jimmy, and then I'm gonna assume Mark somehow (connected to Kenny). Anyway, so when Sammy's name was brought up, I was a little worried, but also a little excited, because I dunno, I didn't exactly trust him. Plus, I immediately thought he was protecting Mark when he told me that Alex definitely voted for me. MEH MAYBE I'M ASSUMING WRONG BUT WHATEVER. Well anyway, Alad said that Kenny was in on the Sammy blindside, and I was just like lol wtf really Kenny? Nah, bruh, Kenny ain't cool with that I just know it. But I said, cool, yeah whatever sounds cool to me. Immediately caught up with Kenny to clarify his stance on the Sammy vote, dropped some information onto Jimmy about what I heard, and then just caught up with Briq and Jhon so that they knew right away that I was on board with voting Sammy. For a quick second I was a little bit paranoid that people thought I was close to Sammy to the point where I wouldn't vote for him, because a few people were like "are you close to Sammy?". I kinda told people (mostly Briq and Jhon) that I was just gonna talk to Sammy and be nice to him, etc, just so I can use him to get information or whatever. I had gotten hints right away that a lot of people thought Sammy was sketchy, so I figured he'd be a target at some point, and this makes perfect sense.

Well anyway, Kenny pretty much confirmed that he wasn't ok with the switch to Kenny, and I'm just like bruh, I don't think the votes can go back to Alex. People seemed to jump way on board with switching to Sammy and I'm not about to go against the tide and make it seem like I'm trying to save him. The problem is that I actually did end up trusting Sammy, Kenny, and Jimmy. I still trust Kenny and Jimmy, but I can't just commit to them in case we're like the obvious outsiders to some bigger alliance over here.  Anyway, Kenny wanted to throw out some PMs to see if people would switch back to Alex, and I pretty much was like "yeah they're not gonna do it" cuz at that point I was committed to just voting Sammy in a larger majority and avoid an obvious tribe split right before a potential swap. But I got a lot of information about where some loyalties lie, and I feel like I'm squarely on the outside, but not exactly the bottom bottom. I'm really trying to stay close to Alad, Briq, and Jhon, while also staying close to Kenny/Jimmy. I'm sort of purposely not getting close to Alex. I don't know why, exactly. I might need to work with him if I'm on a swapped tribe with him, so I'll have to at least try. But he seems to be solid solid in with Alad, so he seems to be in a good position, and tbh, I wouldn't mind voting him out just for that. But I think it's actually too late at this point. A few episodes ago, I talked with Jhon about Mark, and we kind of hinted that we wanted to vote out Mark soon. I actually wanted to vote Mark out at the first TC we went to, then again at the second TC we went to. I think had we gone forward with the plan to get rid of Alex, it would have been harder to get rid of Mark in a future TC. But now that Sammy's gone, it seems like Mark/Kenny/Jimmy/Me are in a minority, but I only really have extreme loyalty to Jimmy, then loyalty to Kenny. I don't have any loyalty to Mark. Jhon approached me again and asked if I would be willing to vote out Mark next if we stay in these tribes and have to go to Tribal Council again. I agreed, because duh, it's what I want to do. I think it's not a bad move to do it, even though I think that Kenny/Jimmy could convince Mark not to vote for me in future Tribal Councils. I just don't think we'll stay in these tribes for much much much longer that I think I could actually get out of here alive if I play my cards right. Or I could just be completely f*cked, but whatever. I think Alad has some power right now with people, because he seems to be calling the shots and people just sort of agree. I think I'm gonna try to just get close to Briq/Jhon. We have a weird relationship from BBBtB where I got close to them and then screwed them over, but I want to solidify something with them to just let them know that I'm willing to vote with them, so that they think they want to use me. Doing the same thing with Alad and Kenny already, and I've already sworn loyalty to Jimmy, letting him know I trust him the most (which is true). So I'm really throwing myself out there, but I don't think its too extreme yet, where I'll get into a lot of trouble. But maybe, lolz. Whatever.

So yea, basically the plan is Sammy now, Mark next. I'd ideally like for Alex to go at some point soon, unless I magically start talking to him and working with him. I think I'll eventually approach him to let him know that Sammy tried to blame him for voting for me, but that I didn't believe him so I wanted Sammy gone instead. Maybe use that as a jumping point for a conversation with Alex and try to fast track my way to his good side? :thinking: 

IMMUNITY IDOL: I'm actually working on the anagram now. I think I figured out that there's the word "AFRICAN" in there. Maybe the first few words are " OUT DEEP IN THE AFRICAN WILDERNESS....". But I mean, I'm just playing with the first few words, but I legit think AFRICAN is a word in there. I'll keep working smilesmile.

[Phil]

Tribal Council #4

[SAMMY]

Actually once the vote was switched to you, I didn't want to do it. And since everyone agreed so fast, it was alarming. In the end, not enough people were willing to save you. If you go, it was really nice meeting you. If you stay, lolzies let the games begin.

[Phil]

EPISODE FIVE

TRIBAL SWAP: So, I actually predicted we'd get split into four tribes of five! But now I'm wondering if we'll be going to Tribal Council with just five members, or if there will be some sort of combination of tribes at Tribal Council. In any case, I think I'm pretty set to survive if we have to go to Tribal Council with just Leeu. By the way, Leeu was definitely the LAST tribe I wanted to be on. I wanted to be on Jakkal, because the name and color was cooler. But tbh, I think I have a good set up on my tribe. I'm gonna be working with Kaitlyn, for sure, since we have mutual friends and aligning with her will be beneficial for me, since I think I really need to start going after some other people, haha. We're already thinking that we need to stick together on this tribe. Initially, she seemed very willing to vote out Joe, which is a good sign. I should be safe with Alad and Briq, so voting out Joe would actually be quite easy. But Kaitlyn and I were also thinking....what if we just voted out Alad or Briq first? I'm like, actually not against it at all, tbh! As long as I know Kaitlyn would be loyal to me over Joey, then I don't mind voting with old Leeu against an old Khori person. At first I was thinking that she wouldn't wanna vote Alad (cuz of the whole Aladlyn thing), but she seems very willing to vote him out. Briq too. Also she let me know that Stan asked her to keep Briq safe for one round, which is like RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT LEVEL 3. But also, it's an opportunity for her to earn brownie points with Stan. WHY I CARE ABOUT KAITLYN EARNING BROWNIE POINTS WITH STAN, I DON'T KNOW DON'T EVEN ASK LMAO. I'm just saying, if she wants to honor that request from Stan and keep Briq safe, then it might make her more willing to vote for Alad, which is actually kind of good. We could vote Alad first, Joe second, and then between me/Briq/Kaitlyn, I think I'd have both of their loyalties over the other. So I think I could survive on these small tribes. I guess the trick is just gonna be figuring out the relationship between Alad and Briq, to see if they are willing to vote each other over one of me/Kaitlyn. I've also been keeping in touch with Jhon during the swap, hoping that I could talk to him to maybe get some information from him about Alad or Briq, but also to speak highly of Briq to him in case he's talking with Briq on the side. So if I can let Jhon know that I have no intentions of getting rid of Briq, then maybe that will filter through Jhon to Briq (since I'm assuming they're still close), and Briq would be more willing to trust me. I think he does, but I also think he would be slightly hesitant to put full trust in me. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to boot Alad first, as long as it doesn't hurt my relationship with Briq. If Briq/Alad seem unwilling to ever vote for eachother, I'd risk going into a second NuLeeu Tribal Council with the prospect of either having to vote for Kaitlyn, forcing a tie, or getting voted out. At least with Joey and Kaitlyn around at a possible second NuLeeu Tribal Council, I have the opportunity to switch uncontested, y'know?

Then again, I keep thinking about different scenarios, and this could go back for me if like, Briq and Kaitlyn have a thing against eachother, which might be possible? Like, I've been talking to Jhon, and he says Briq is not comfortable on the tribe, which is weird because theoretically he has a majority of Khori against a minority of Leeu, so there's really no reason for him to outright be nervous? I wonder if Briq would approach Joey and try to get Joey to target Kaitlyn. Apparently Joey was next on the chopping block or something like that. Well, hopefully I can talk to Joey and make good with him so that we could work together if we need to. I'd hopefully be able to get in good with Joey more than, say Briq could. .

IMMUNITY IDOL: I submitted my anagram to Nate:

OUT HERE IN THE AFRICAN WILDERNESS,
THE STAKES ARE SIGNIFICANTLY HIGHER,
BUT SOMEWHERE IN THE BRUSH,
THERE IS SOMETHING HELPFUL YOU CAN ACQUIRE.

I'm hoping this leads me to a clue to find the idol, and that 1) Its not found and I get it, YAY, or 2) I can confirm it's already been found, frownfrown.

All in all, today seemed like a productive day.

[Phil]

I got to talk to Alad today and he immediately started to lowkey (then highkey) throw Briq under the bus. I was like WOWOWOW ok dis actually good, lmao. I think I wrote in my previous confessional about how we should just vote Alad out first, but then the more I think of it, the more I think we should vote Joe first, then maybe Briq. Or Briq first then maybe Joe. GASP GASP GASP. My thoughts are all over the place, man. But basically, I had a talk with Alad and wanted him to know I was with him 100%. Kaitlyn started a group chat with me and Alad, so hopefully Alad is ok with that.

Alad straight up told me we should take out Briq to split up La Familia, which is LOL GASP WOW YAY. Like, they're all kinda close but there's definitely subdivisions within their clique, so I gotta figure out who's actually aligned with who. Alad said he was close to Stan, Vova, and maybe E. Oh, and he's closest with Don, and then he said me, but obviously he would tell me that. So it's actually interesting that he said he was close with Stan, because Stan approached Kaitlyn to save Briq at least one round. I wonder if Alad knows this? Like, I dunno, maybe I'm grabbing onto this story too much, but tbh that comment from Stan is INTERESTING to me, and honestly it gives me something to work with. If Alad were to know that Stan messaged Kaitlyn to have us save Briq, what would he think? Like, if we saved Briq, then that means he wants one of us to go over Briq ! ! ! I ain't cool with that. Does Stan want Briq here more than Alad? If so, then maybe Alad would wanna vote out Briq even more. Or that might compromise his relationship with Stan, who he is allegedly close to.

So I actually wanted to clarify with Alad if he wanted to get rid of Briq right away, or if he wanted to get rid of Joe. Because he straight up said we could vote out Briq or Joe first. Then Alad sort of backtracked, maybe got nervous, and said he was "open to it" but that would mean throwing me/Kaitlyn/Joe under the bus. I don't know what exactly that means or entails, or why he would feel the need to do that, but tbh I also don't really care if he does that as long as I know what that means and what he's saying and who he's saying it to. So I'm thinking that targetting Joe first would be easiest, and then maybe targetting Briq if we need to.

I let Alad know that I don't mind if members of La Familia stick around a bit, but that I'm closest to him and that I wouldn't want to be in a situation where we can't vote someone from La Familia out. Basically I let him know that I'm here to be used as a vote if there was a La Familia deflection, which at some point there definitely will be. I just want to be around for when that happens to I can rise out of the ashes and live on.

Also, I've been keeping my lines of communication open with Jhon, who let me know that Briq was nervous about the tribe swap. Which in my head, i'm like "?? ok", if he trusted me/Alad, then he shouldn't be nervous. But then I started to actually think through scenarios, and I realized, okay yeah maybe he should be nervous, cuz now I kinda wanna vote him out after Joe. Or before Joe, IDFC. Voting Briq might sour things with Jhon SLIGHTLY, but it also may make me trust him more, since I don't know how much I can rely on Jhon as long as Briq is in the game. It DOES seem like they talk a lot, since Jhon gives me some info about what Briq's thinking. 

I also got paranoid because I told Briq that Kaitlyn was willing to vote out Joe. And at the end of our conversation, Briq was just like "I'll have to talk to Joe and see what he thinks about the tribe" And this is before I talked to Alad. So immediately I'm paranoid that Briq would tell Joe that Kaitlyn was willing to vote for him, and that I told Briq what Kaitlyn said and that it would some how get back to Kaitlyn and she'd get mad. HAHA. So I was like, UGH PHIL STOP. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU TELL BRIQ. GOD YOU f*ckING DUMB TWAT. But now I'm back to thinking that I need to stick with Alad and Kaitlyn. From what I gather from both Briq AND Alad, is that they both seem to want to target eachother SOONER rather than later. Soooooooo that's nice. 

[Phil]

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE:

Kaitlyn: My head is throbbing, my eyes are burning, and I want to go.

*Kaitlyn immediately solves puzzle*

Kaitlyn: Bye.

[Phil]

LMAO so right after we win the Immunity Challenge, Alad starts blowing up my phone, telling me how he wants to vote out Briq over Joe, which like, HAHA yay, I guess? He then started throwing La Familia under the bus hardcore talking about how people were messaging him telling him that Me/Kaitlyn/Joe would team up. ANd then I guess Vova messaged Alad that Alad needs to comfort Briq cuz Briq thinks that Me/Kaitlyn will toss him. He actually sent me a screenshot from James, BUT THE GODDAMN TITLE OF THE PRIVATE MESSAGE THREAD WAS "ALADONJAMES". ALAD.DON.JAMES. ALAD.DON.JAMES. How you gonna post me a screenshot with one of your alliances chats right in the f*cking title. But ok. Not that I trusted all those guys anyway, but still.

So like, ok Briq got these people out here worried about him AND AINT NOBODY WORRIED ABOUT MY SAFETY LIKE WHAT AM I TO THEM, CHOPPED LIVER? God damn. Briq got Stan begging Kaitlyn to save him, got James out there warning Alad about me/Kaitlyn, got Vova out there getting Alad to comfort Briq, got Jhon out there telling me to trust Briq, like DAMN. Boy gotta go, bye. I still think Alad a major threat, but I'm seriously gonna keep talking to him cuz he giving me information and that's niiiiice.

But yeah, I mean I'm still super paranoid about Alad, cuz he seems to have a big mouth. Like why he telling me all this sh*t that everyone saying to him, and whats stopping him from telling others what I am saying to him? I think I can trust him for now, but maybe I won't trust him long term. I actually don't trust him enough to share any idol/clue information with him. I LEGIT TOLD KAITLYN ABOUT MY IDOL CLUE AND TOLD HER IT TOLD ME TO GUESS 1-25, so I dunno, hopefully if she guesses 1-25 we have a better shot at getting it?

Also I found out from Kaitlyn and Ashley that E has an idol LOL. And you know his reirrugarating a** aint solve NOT A DAMN SINGLE WORD IN THAT MISSING LETTER PUZZLE LIIIIIIIIIKE he straight up guessed the right number, that lucky f*ck. Yo I want that damn idol now.

I'M GETTING REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS STUPID GAME NOW.

[Phil]

YO so now we basically be freaking out over this f*cking TORRA TRIBAL f*ckING COUNCIL. Like, I'm FREAKING that Jimmy might go. Me and Ashley over here like plotting how can we f*cking SAVE JIMMY WTF. Anyway, Jimmy thinks its gonna be between him and Jacob, and I'm all like, CRAWL UP KENNY'S BLACK a** AND OFFER SOME ACTUAL MONEY DO WHATEVER IT TAKES SO THAT YOU DON'T GET ANY VOTES. Like, how Jimmy gonna think its between him and Jacob, if Kenny ain't gonna do his a** a solid and save the f*ck outta him. LIKE KENNY SAVE YOUR BOY JIMMY HE ACTUALLY TRUSTS YOU.

Anyway, so I messaged Kenny basically acting all innocent and dumb like "hopefully you and jimmy can survive", cuz like we had this lil thing going on with Me/Jimmy/Kenny/Sammy, and then it f*cked up and we couldn't get the votes to save Sammy again. LIKE WHY WE SO DUMB THOUGH, GROSS.

Kenny apparently knows about E's idol, so its definitely coming into play this TC. It's just a matter of it Kenny has an idol, or how E/Vova vote or whatever. I WANT VOVA'S a** OUT AT THIS TC THOUGH. This boy hasn't been talking to me at all but my name comin out of his mouth when he talking to other people, so he can go honey he can go.

Also I told Ashley the phrase I used to get the other idol clue, and hopefully we'll see if get gets told to search 1-25 or if she gets told to search somewhere else. I SWORE TO MYSELF I WASN'T GONNA TELL THAT b*tch ABOUT MY IDOL CLUE, BUT I GUESS THIS GAME HAS COME TO THAT POINT WHERE I FELT LIKE I HAD TO CUZ I JUST f*ckIN WANT IT, OR AT LEAST KNOW WHO GETS IT. Yo I swear I hope Kenny has an idol and that both E and Kenny play an idol, and E/Vova put their votes on Kenny and Kenny/Jimmy put their votes on Vova. Like #wetdreams

[Phil]

When Kenny was voted out, my phone was blowing up like mad. At first, I was lowkey disappointed because I kinda wanted Kenny to stay because I think I could have used him A LITTLE BIT. He was pretty tight lipped about some stuff, but I think down the line I could have been considered useful to him for him to give me information. But yeah, the aftermath of the Tribal Council was pretty funny because Ashley and Kaitlyn started just spilling information that they had heard. And then at the same time, Alad started spilling information about Kenny and his connections to Briq/Stan. He was throwing Briq under the bus HARDCORE, and Kaitlyn and I realized it was time to lock down with Alad and just plan for a Briq vote if Leeu had to go to Tribal Council next. I started throwing Stan/Briq under the bus to Alad too, since Alad was talking about how Kenny/Stan/Briq had a F3. So I basically corroborated Alad's story and told Kaitlyn to tell Alad about how Stan messaged him to save Briq and stuff, because after what Alad was telling me about how other people wanted us to save Briq, it just made the story more plausible that Briq needed to go.

At this point I also tried to set something up with Joey on the side in case something was amiss and Alad wanted to hold off on getting rid of Briq. So I tried to solidify something with me and Joe when it came to working with Alad. I'm pretty sure Alad gave Joe a lot of information and so I realized I needed to start talking to Joe more to maybe corroborate some of the stories taht maybe he's heard from Alad to make sure they add up. Sadly, we didn't very far in our conversations cuz I was busy and couldn't follow up.

But anyway, yeah Kenny's gone, and La Familia is in shambles, so a LOT of stuff is just flying around, so it looks like things broke wide open and I have a lot more wiggle room with the people I want to try to work with. 

The Quest for the Hidden Immunity idol continues, and E apparently has it, but also Alad told me that E created fake PMs to make it look like he had the real idol. TBH both stories seem plausible, so whatever. More on that in the next episode.

[Phil]

EPISODE SIX

Basically I spend the episode getting information from Ashley who I am starting to talk to more. Like, we sort of ignored eachother in the beginning of the game, maybe knowing that at some point we'll share information. But yeah, we basically just shared a bunch of information and she is somehow getting tons of info from La Familia and I am taking that information and confirming it on my own through my own channels (mostly Alad, but LOL whatever). 

I made sure to keep my lines of communication open with Jimmy, because once the Immunity Challenge came, it was pretty clear that Torra would be going to Tribal Council again. Everyone made a deal to target Torra, and I'm not sure who was the intended target, but yet again I was FREAKED that Jimmy would be the obvious boot since he was on the outside of lat vote. 

So, me and Ashely scrambled around again, and I ended up sharing my idol clue with Ashley and Jimmy to give us all a better chance at finding the idol. I had a chat with Jimmy and gave him some information that would hopefully help him survive, but honestly there wasn't much I could do to help him, since I don't have any sway with his tribe members. But then Ashley told me that she was gonna get E to save Jimmy. I think the target at that point was Jacob Q by default, which I was good with because he was bascially adopted as the next expendable member of La Familia, and he f*cked over Kenny, so he kind of deserved it LMAO.

I actually wanted to lose the challenge to boot Briq because I think we had it set up nicely, with Me/Alad/Kaitlyn agreeing, and also Me/Alad/Joe agreeing (I think, lols). Alad said he had Joe, and it was really weird cuz I asked Alad if I should talk to Joe about the vote against Briq and he was like "nah bruh, I got it covered" to which I'm like RED ALERT RED ALERT I should at least be able to talk to him. So I talked to him again about officially working together with me and Alad, but we never actually got around to confirming the vote AGAIN because Joe doesn't really respond fully and I was busy and couldn't follow up. But yeah, I wanted to throw to vote out Briq because it would have just been a good chance for us to take a shot, lols.

But then the results come in and JIMMY f*ckING SURVIVES THE TRIBAL COUNCIL. LMAO. E teamed up with Jimmy and they voted out JACOB Q. I'm like, ecstatic at this point, because that is AMAZING lmao. I'm also like, THE f*ck Y'ALL CARE ABOUT JIMMY SO MUCH? LIKE STEP AWF THAT'S MY MAIN MAN, AND NOW WE GOT SOME OTHER ALLIANCE SUITORS TO COME PROTECT HIM? Anyway, so yeah Jimmy's got a good deal going on, AND I"M JEALOUS hahaha, cuz I still wanna work with him the most but we got these other people who clearly want to save him LMAO. Whatever. He's still here and that's GOOD. 

So immediately after Torra's Tribal Council, I'm ready for another Tribe Swap, worried AF I will get stuck on a tribe with Stan/Briq/Jhon, LMAO.

[Phil]

EPISODE SEVEN

Tribe Swap: YUP, I think we all predicted it. TRIBE SWAP TIME. This time in three tribes of six, oook. Well that's better than 5 I guess, even though I had a good thing going with my tribe, even though it WAS getting a little awkward with me aligning myself with EVERYONE. But whatever, we swap. So I get to the swap like mid way through, closer to the end, and what do I see? BRIQ JHON AND STAN ALL ON THE SAME TRIBE. And I'm like, hmmm, oh hell no. Even though tbh I think they would all wanna work with me. And then I see Alad and Don there too and I'm like OH HELL NO I CANNOT f*ckING GO ON THAT TRIBE ARE YOU KIDDING ME PLS GOD NO. Like, I would have DIED if I was on a tribe with Stan/Jhon/Briq/Alad/Don/Me becuase literally EVERYONE would be fighting for my vote and I would have to f*cking choose, and there would like probably be no way to actually get out Stan/Jhon/Briq with only three votes, so like f*ck. I was nervous AF. And Alad was freaking out, and then Ash tells me that Don is freaking out and is basically PRAYING that I get put on his tribe, and all I can think is NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE even though it would be ~INTERESTING~. Like, I actually felt bad for Alad because this is his worst nightmare I think. And I thought, WE DEFINITELY SHOULD HAVE THROWN A CHALLENGE ON LEEU TO f*ckING GET RID OF BRIQ, LMAO. Cuz LOOK what happened. 

Anyway, I got put on Khori (WHAT WHAT! I love me some Khori). And I'm happy about it. TBH I love my new tribe. I'm getting lucky with my tribe swaps this game, unlike last All-Stars, lmao. I'm back with Jimmy (WHAT WHAT!) so that's immediately a relief. And we're with E too, which is cool because E just saved Jimmy, and now Jimmy and E are cool, and E is apparently close to Ash, and is now apparently close with me. And they wanted to set up an alliance chat between Me/Ash/Jimmy/E, but then E added Kaitlyn, which is fine but also like wasn't part of the deal? And like no one is posting in it, sooo ... #awkward. But anyway, E makes a private chat between me/Jimmy/E which I'm cool with. Like I'll roll with that threesome. I don't think E has any reason to f*ck either me or Jimmy at this point. Plus he's got mad beef with Cole at this point after E voted out Jacob Q, so I definitely wanna keep that momentum going and use that to my advantage. I could vote out Cole, IDRFC.

But then I decided to take things one step further and talk one-on-one with E for the first time this game. Which, like, I was skeptical of at first because #1 he has SUCH a huge mouth and could stoopidly start saying my name in places where it doesn't belong. And #2, I trusted his dumb ideas in the first All-Stars and I got f*cked. BUT WHATEVER at this point, I know that Ashley has some sway with E, and I can get Ashley to protect me. So I basically get E to spill a ton of information to me about La Familia, including like 12 screenshots of their tribal council chats, in which STAN AND BRIQ totally incriminate themselves after the Kenny vote. Like, I see what Alad means. Briq/Stan were soooo butthurt about how La Familia was broken, and how they can't do their Dream F10 thingy. Like, THOSE TWO CONTINUED TO DEFEND THE f*ckING LA FAMILIA ALLIANCE, WHEN WE HAVE LIKE E AND ALAD AND DON THROWING EVERYONE UNDER THE BUS. Alad sent me screens, E sent me screens. THAT b*tch ASHLEY NEVER SENT ME SCREENS, but she did send me info so whatever, lmao. 

So yeah basically I got the full scoop from E which is great because it means he trusts me enough to give me information, probably because he realizes he needs to trust me and work with me. And if I ever feel like it, I can rat his a** out to Stan/Briq, and maybe actually use them in the future to get out other people who have been going against La Familia the whole time. Like, honestly, as much as I've said I want Stan/Briq out, I AM still actually open to working with them. Not Briq long term, really. But actually Stan and definitely Jhon. If I can remove Briq from the equation, I think working with Jhon/Stan becomes much easier.

I actually still don't trust James fully. And I feel bad about that, but I don't think I should. I still know that AladDonJames have their side alliance chat. I'm totally cool with working with all of AladDonJames in some capacity, but really how are they different than like Stan/Briq/Jhon? I feel like Jhon is basically playing the same exact game I am. Trying to get close to La Familia so that when they break, he can squeeze in with a new alliance. Which makes me want to get rid of Jhons playing pieces rather than getting rid of him. I still think Jhon could be useful later on. 

But anyway, I still have a lot of alliances set up, and some are more solid than others. I've got Ashley and Kaitlyn, I've got Alad and Kaitlyn, I've got James, I've got Briq/Jhon (kinda lol), I've got Jimmy, I've got E, I've got Jimmy/E, I've got Joe (maybe? lolz), and now I'm gonna work on getting Jacob. Like, we were cool in our previous games, and I think we're kind of similar, and maybe we're both kind of floating along in this game hoping to break into whatever crack we can. I'm not sure how Jacob is playing this game other than relying on his challenge prowess to make himself super useful. Like, everyone likes him so he's got no problems there, but I wonder if he has a solid "IN" with anyone. I should continue to try to work something with Jacob.

I MEAN BASICALLY MY STRATEGY IS TO MAKE A MILLION ALLIANCES WITH EVERYONE, AVOID TRIBAL COUNCIL SO I DON'T HAVE TO EXPOSE MY TRUE LOYALTY, AND GET TO THE MERGE SOMEHOW AND THEN f*ck EVERYONE UP. Oh, and find that dumb idol. Ugh.

[Phil]

f*ck. I actually thought we had a good shot winning this. Goddammit.

Cole and James want me to vote Jimmy but I totally do not want to. I mean, tbh I'd vote for him, but I don't want him to go. I actually want Cole or James gone first lmaoooo. Like, I want e around to keep exposing la familia. I want jummhbaeound cuz I wanna work with him, and I lowkey wanna work with Jacob s only because he's not part of la familia. Apparently Jacob and Cole are close though. So working With Jacob hinges on Cole being gone. But I can't plot against Cole or james.

I need E's idol to come into play. I want e and jimmy to idol someone out. Maybe I can like, vote for jimmy and then have e play his idol on jimmy. And then have e and jimmys vote count towards someone to get that person out.

It would be real suspicious of me, since Cole and James know I don't want jimmy out, but if I agree to vote for him and follow through it might be believable.

Like I think I legit wanna do it. Get e to play his damn idol on someone to get Cole out lmaoooo. Frees up Jacob a little, keeps jimmy my ally, keeps James against e rather than me. Throws suspicion off me and jimmy (does jimmy even want to work with me? Ugh!) but like fr I wanna work with e and jimmy but 3 is not enough. If we get majority now, we keep it for two more tcs omg lol.

[Phil]

So this Tribal Council be pissing me off more than I thought. Basically it seems like its down to Jimmy or Jacob now. I straight up thought E would wanna target Cole, but now E backtracking. Honestly, I hate that the targets are off of E/Cole, because I know they all still got their incestuous La Familia ties, and somehow the target is always off of someone from La Familia. I know they got issues but I wish they would just tackle them head on rather than get the rest of us out, goddamn.

But anyway, if it's between Jimmy and Jacob, then I have to vote Jacob. Like, sorry but this kid isn't really giving me much to work with tbh. Like I messaged him trying to chat him up and he's just like "I don't know enough information to decide who's telling the truth" or something like that. Well I'm on a quest to get information, but if you're not gonna help me or share any information with me, then I'm not gonna do that with you.

James seems to really want Jimmy out and has been trying to convince me to vote for Jimmy with Cole/Jacob/James. At the same time, James apparently wants E to use his idol, presumably on himself. So I think E thinks that there's some possibility of a vote split, but that if me/Jimmy are voting with E, then he wont have to use his idol. But I straight up don't see there being a vote split. Like, they want to f*cking vote for Jimmy. Or at least that's what they've told me. Whether they all vote for Jimmy or E might be irrelevant, but the point is that I think Jacob/Cole/James are all going to vote together. James told me he doesn't want Cole or E to go, so by logic, I think he WILL be voting Jimmy like he said. And he wants us four to do it.

So I either have to get E to play his idol on Jimmy or we have to go into a tie situation. If there's a revote or whatever, then honestly I think I have to just stick my guns and keep my vote and see if someone else (aka James) will flip. E thinks that James got his back, but James lowkey be throwing E under the bus to me, saying he would vote E out at the next TC if Jimmy goes. TBH no, I don't like that. Like E crazy and stuff but tbh I am gonna try to make this work with him. And also, like, I don't want to go into the next vote with Jimmy gone AND with E in possession of an idol. That would mean I'm screwed af. If Jacob goes at this TC AND E uses his idol, it totally just frees up a lot for me in the next TC. Like, theoretically, me/Jimmy/E would have majority at that point and we can vote out Cole, regardless of what James wants.

I wanna trust James n sh*t, but I also wanna do this sh*t on my terms. Not like I wanna say "screw you James" but ... kinda ... well screw you James. Like I'd keep James over Cole anyway. But probs not over Jimmy.

But then like, other people seem to trust Cole more than E. And James reason is that Cole gives us more sway with other players in the game. Like Ashley/Kaitlyn/Stan/Alad/Don. LIKE WHAT. That only makes partial sense. Plus I already have ins with Ashley/Kaitlyn/Alad/Don. I don't need Cole to help me get in with them. So like, I seriously have no problem getting rid of Cole after Jacob. E has ties to Vova and probably YM, and as much as I want both Vova and Ym out, I actually want to trust E. If he can give me any pull with Vova/YM so that they would keep me safe, then that's fine. I don't really mind backstabbing them all in the future sooooo.

Also I guess I'm not scared of a tie situation, REALLY. This will just be me being daring, I guess. DETERMINED AND DARING I TELL YA. But like, if I vote Jacob and E doesn't play his idol, and Jacob/Cole/James vote Jimmy and no one switches in a revote, we might go to rocks and I could get screwed. But then I guess like I honestly don't care if I get screwed. Like if E goes in rocks, that would actually f*cking suck, but I could possibly just tell them I voted Jacob becuase I thought E would play his idol on Jimmy, LMAO. If E went in rocks, I'd throw him under the bus to save my a**.

Anyway, enough of that. Hypotheticals are annoying as sh*t, but I'm just more worried about next TC. I keep forgetting sometimes that these tribes small af. LIKE SMALL TRIBES WITH SO MANY PEOPLE IS SO f*ckING ANNOYING BECAUSE YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE A GODDAMN DECISION FOR YOURSELF. Its not like the F6 where you have your alliance or whatever. You have like 17 other f*ckING people that apparently care so much about everything and everyone, that it's hard to just make a f*cking decision.

I'm just honestly so annoyed at house incestuous everyone is, and how everything you say or do gets passed through the entire game. LIKE LOL I WAS EVEN GUILTY OF THAT THOUGH because I was talking to Ashley about this, and it makes it even harder cuz this b*tch claims to trust E and Cole, but then desperately wants Jimmy to stay, and I'm like :thinking emoji: and its like YO E AND COLE ARE GOING AGAINST EACH OTHER HOWM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH BOTH, LIIIIKE. But then she also claims to trust Cole more than E, but that also makes me want to keep E more, HAHAHA. Remember I'm greedy and I like taking away other people's allies? But I'm also conflicted because I think people legit trust me to a degree, and I don't think anyone is actively targeting me. Cuz I haven't given anyone a reason to. But I think the longer I play this middle ground, the more likely I am to be found out and voted out because of it.