Confessionals

[Phil]

What the hell is taking everyone so long? This is a huge bonerkiller.

[Phil]

I had to edit my previous confessional because I had made a typo in which I said I wanted me/Ashley to target Jon. I MEANT KENNY. I think I just said Jon because I had these thoughts about idoling him and then posting a really b*tchy comment after it. But, no. I meant I want to vote out Kenny.

I am HOPING I can win this challenge, get everyone to vote for Ashley, then use my idol on Ashley and have us vote for Kenny. Kenny or Dewie really, I don't even give a f*ck. Personal preference is Kenny, just because he thinks he's hot sh*t for saving himself last round. But Dewie thinks he's hot sh*t in general, and really he's my biggest competition at the next challenge, so I'd need him to GTFO if I want a better chance at winning that challenge.

I know I beat Ashley at this challenge, and we agree we don't really see Kenny/Jon beating my time. Dewie maybe! It would actually suck if Dewie won just because I really want to win so I can be safe and use my idol on Ashley. I neeeeed to secure Ashley as my Finals partner. I mean given the last vote, we've already agreed that we need to stick together, but I need to secure secure secure it so she will not not not vote for me under any circumstance at the F4. And this round, one of Kenny/Dewie absolutely need need need to go go go, because they will not vote for eachother. I do not believe Kenny and Jon will vote for each other at the F4. I don't know if Dewie/Jon will vote for eachother, but I think they are more likely to than any other combination involving Kenny. So that's why Kenny should go. Because at the very least, I want to force a tie at F4 that hopefully doesn't involve me. My plan would be to get Dewie/Jon to vote for Ashley at the F4, while me/Ashley vote for either Dewie or Jon. And, of course, depending on if its a F2 or F3, I would absolutely switch my vote and vote out Ashley if it meant getting to the finals.

I'm hoping everyone thinks Ashley is the threat to win (they said so last time). We'll see if they keep saying it. Whatever. I just want to be able to use my idol on Ashley this TC. Oh, also I asked her if she had the idol, and she just said "I wish!". If I win, I'll tell her I have my idol, and at that point, she should tell me if she has the original Chie idol or not. None of it will even matter if I win immunity. So c'moooooooonnnnnnnnn. I'm ready.

[Phil]

HAHA. At this point I have not yet decided if I am using my idol. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I STILL THINK ASHLEY HAS AN IDOL. Because I can not seriously believe that NO ONE was able to find the original Chie Idol. They WERE NOT HARD TO FIND, AND IN FACT I FOUND TWO OVER THE COURSE OF THIS GAME >_________>

The weird thing is that Ashley doesn't seem worried about Tribal Council AT ALL! I told her I wanted to vote for Kenny, and she was basically like "yep, me too, duh". And she congratulated me for winning, but didn't seem at all worried that she hadn't talked to Jon about voting for Kenny. SOOOOOOO it just seems like she has an idol tucked away, because really...who is that happy about the situation if you don't have immunity?

I'd LOVE to get away without using my idol at all at this point. Keep it a secret until the finals if I ever make it! But I would also love to find out if 1) Ashley is getting votes; and 2) Ashley has an idol. So I'll try to suss it out and if I find out she's getting votes, I might tell her and then at that point, she should tell me if she has it or not FOR REAL. HAHA.

Also, I love Jon's comment about how if someone played the idol at this point, that it would be a detriment to them at the FTC. Honestly I need all the bad juju I can get to even MAKE it to the FTC. I truly believe I can argue my case to win, but if people think that I wont get any votes, then that is GOOD because I want to be taken. If the jurors are really that butthurt that I lied about having an idol...then they need to snap back to reality and realize what game they're playing. But yeah, I will do anything at this point that would hurt my chances of getting votes in the eyes of the other players. Like I said, in reality, I think I can argue my case to win so I aint even worried about the FTC. Not saying that I know I can win, but getting there has always been way way way more important than being in the best position to win. My chances of failing at F4 are far greater than my chances of failing at the FTC, imo. But we shall see, right?

[Phil]

LOL I f*cking knew Ashely had an idol! I f*ckING KNEW IT!

[Phil]

I have to admit that I'm a little (a lot) sad that I didn't get to blindside someone with my idol. I had all these wet dreams about playing my idol while quoting one of Jon's previous Tribal Councils in which he arrogantly exclaims he's not sure who has the power, but knows it "AIN'T A FAN" and posting various hairflip gifs, and other passive agreessive images.

I just cannot believe how much these favorites have imploded since I won immunity. It's so glorious. First Kenny and Dewie were going to vote for Jon. Then Kenny, Dewie, and Jon were gonna vote for Ashley and Kenny was going to try to get me to vote for Ashley. Then Jon was going to vote for Dewie and was trying to get Ashley to vote with him, because Kenny was apparently already one board! THESE FOLKS ARE A MESS. But Ashley and I are steadfast in our desire to just keep our votes on Kenny, and those three can do whatever the f*ck they want. Kenny and Jon can vote for Dewie for all I care. Dewie and Kenny can vote for Jon for all I care. They can all vote for f*cking Ashley, I don't give a f*ck! Whatever is the most clusterf*ck scenario: LET IT HAPPEN!

Dewie is SO paranoid about me turning on him and going with Ashley. I've already promised Ashley finals, and I've already promised Dewie finals. WHICH IS WHY I NEED THIS GAME TO BE A F3 SO BADLY! But really, if its gonna be a F2, I need to put all my eggs in Dewie's basket since he has a way better chance of winning that final immunity.

After this TC, I still plan to drill it into Ashley and Dewie that we need to vote out Jon. Which is why I TOTALLY want Jon to just f*cking vote for Ashley or Dewie PLEASE. Ashley and Dewie were my Chie alliance from a long time ago, and I've developed my relationship with them independently of eachother and so far its totally working out for me. I would LOVE to sit in the Final Three with them and know that I did exactly what I said I was going to do, and hopefully win.

GAH. So much needs to happen and I'm still really nervous! Even if it doesn't work out for me, I know I stirred sh*t up so hardcore in the last few rounds and I hope I've made this exciting for y'all!

[Phil]

This conversation just happened:

Jon: Hey I changed my vote to ash cuz her and dewie I think are going to take each other to the final and there big threats
Phil: ok
Jon: Who you gonna vote? I just think dewie and Ashley wk get the most votes
Phil: well i already voted for kenny so I am just gonna keep my vote on him.
Jon: Alright well there will be a revote then
Phil: oh deer. okay.

[Phil]

I think I have a fairly good shot at surviving this TC even if I don't have immunity. I just need to tread carefully. I've definitely played up the finals deals I had with both Ashley and Dewie, so now I don't really have to worry about continuing to play up to them because we know the finals is next round.

I've got Jon in one ear telling me that we need to target Ashley. He then goes on to say that we need to get one of them (Dewie or Ashley) out this last round. On one hand he says they're huge threats, and then he turns around and says they'll both be hated by the jury. So which one is it? Bringing two hated people to the finals is a good thing. Although I think that's a stretch. I think if I go to the FTC with Dewie and Ashley, the final votes will be split pretty well. Which is what I'm aiming for!

I'm pretty sure I can secure the fans vote base. Gabe, Shorty and hopefully Buddy. I never did Buddy wrong, so I hope I could get his vote. I would just need to secure one other vote from someone, and that would be enough to win if the other votes can be split between Dewie and Ashley. Just a quick run through makes me think that Kenny and Jon would vote for Dewie and that Tre and Kaitlyn would vote for Ashley. To me, Outlast is a huge wildcard. But then again so is Kaitlyn because she's been out for so long and she was betrayed by Dewie and Ashley.

I still think it would be better to go to finals with both Dewie and Ashley!

[Phil]

LOL well there is no way I could have won this challenge so I am just going to hope we can vote out Jon. If they don't want to vote out Jon, well there is nothing I can do. I have my limitations on what is possible and what is not, and so I'm just gonna try to convince them to vote out Jon.

If I go, I go.

[Phil]

Ashley has told me she's voting for Jon. She could be a lying b*tch, or she could be legit, but tbh it doesn't really matter to me if she's lying or not. Dewie is obviously voting for Ashley or myself, but given that he has not told me who he's voting for, leads me to believe he's voting for me. I can't believe that Ashley would bother with a tie by voting out Jon, so they're all probably voting for me.

I think I do have the jury votes to win, so whatever. >__>

[Phil]

Dewie just told me he's voting for me and his reason is that I didn't tell him about my idol, as if he ever actually deserved to know. Wewps.

[Phil]

Oops, guys, I realized I never said my final words. Basically I just wanna say thanks for having me. I had fun and pretty much my only goal was to be relevant and have an actual impact on the game/series in some way. I think I accomplished that goal better than most of the cast, so I guess I'm happy! Maybe I should have taken it more seriously when I realized I could actually win because it wasn't until later in the game when I realized people were actually counting on me. At least those two rounds that I had immunity were eventful, and it really was glorious seeing the favorites break down the way they started to break down. They were a f*cking mess whether they ever want to admit it or not. I had my fair share of "stupid" gameplay decisions (not throwing challenges, not playing my idol on Kenny at F5, etc), I still think I played a pretty good game considering that despite all the f*ckery that occurred, I was still the person who was gonna win it all. LOL. Like I told Ashley, I didn't sign up to win. I signed up to play Survivor with people I've never played with. I get more joy out of PLAYING THE GAME rather than just getting to the end on someone else's watch and maybe winning. Ashley, Dewie, Gabe, and Shorty allowed me to play the game, and these really are the people that I met in this game that made the experience worthwhile for me and I hope to keep in touch with them after the game is over. I hope to get to know more of the players later, of course, but my relationships with the four I mentioned earlier really are the ones I will remember.

PEACE OUT

[Phil]

Now that Ashley and Dewie have answered my questions, I think I know who I want to vote for. To be honest, I really do not care which one of them wins. It doesn't really have an impact on my view of the game, on my view of either of them or of their games, or anything really. I don't think one of them deserves it more than the other, but I think I do know who I want to vote for.

Right now I'm leaning towards voting for Dewie. And really, it comes down to the fact that probably the biggest thing I value in a player is just them really being into the game and wanting to just play it for what it is. I think they both were really into the game, but I think Ashley took it to a gamebot level which I don't really care for. And by that I just mean the "I will do anything I have to to win" attitude. I dunno I think that's just stupid.

SO AS MUCH AS I AGREE THAT DEWIE WAS AN ANNOYING DEWSH A LOT OF THE TIME, I think he had a bigger presence overall, so I'm leaning towards voting for him. Plus I liked his answer to my question better, even though ironically, he contradicted himself and didn't ACTUALLY answer it, but I still got an answer from it after a few other questions, which I actually like. Both Dewie and Ashley are correct in that I do value loyalty, but they are painting me as this super loyal person who is just an angel. I betrayed my own alliance to make sure I was the last fan standing. So, yes, I do value loyalty, but I'm not that extreme, y'all. Although, I will mention that I respect Dewie for being so loyal to Kenny to the point where he started to act like a baby when he realized we were voting him out. Haha. I'm also sort of leaning to the person who I think most needs my vote, and who might appreciate it more.