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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 20:39:15 GMT -5
This is where the presenters will be revealing the winners of the ER Awards!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:02:11 GMT -5
Starting us off presenting tonight will be Nate of Alianate! |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:08:54 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:12:51 GMT -5
When your award show crashes and burns like the test you took last week.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:15:10 GMT -5
I'll be starting us off tonight with our first category... Biggest Meltdown.
What makes a good meltdown? Usually a lot of yelling.. some crass language... maybe some crazy accusations. But the number 1 thing that makes a meltdown great? The fact that it comes out of absolutely no where! Here are our nominees.
Kaitlyn: So this meltdown seems to come out of nowhere, but actually has a bit of backstory. Jon and Kaitlyn do not like each other. They seem to have a bit of “history” between themselves (something about nudie pics but who am I to judge?). Regardless, Jon is greeting the new Queen of ER, Mel, during the pre-game chatter of Endurance. Kaitlyn is sure to warn Mel of Jon’s womanizing ways. Good for her tbh, the guy is engaged he needs to lay off the chicks and save some for the rest of us. Jon doesn’t like Kaitlyn’s attack, and begrudgingly goes to defend himself. I mean who actually likes talking to Kaitlyn? Not me that’s for sure. Jon rebuts Kaitlyn’s claim that no one “likes or respects” him with a claim that Kaitlyn has “whored around” with everyone on the site, supposedly sending Snapchat nudie pics to us all! I guess I missed out but w.e. Everyone begins joking on Kaitlyn as usual, and Kaitlyn comes back with a bomb to drop on every member of the thread. It is definitely worth the read, and it here it is:
The rest of the argument is fairly tame, with Kaitlyn accusing Jon of soliciting illegal nudes from her, until Kenny threatens to ban everyone in the thread. Both parties seem to be completely fine 45 minutes later.
Andrew: I want to first say that I was unfortunately only able to have limited interactions with Andrew, when he was pretending to be Peter in order to play in Survivor: Tonga. However, his is a legend that will forever live on in infamy on ER. This is actually something that happened back when the site was still fresh. Having come straight from the Russian Porn site to Proboards, Expert was still a bit shaky on how the PM system worked. The root of Expert thinking that just because the envelope was not opened, it meant Andrew had not yet read the message he had sent him. This is important because Andrew was competing in a mission vs DB and Brian. Now, people just assumed Brian would win because Brian is the King of the UC’s. Magically, Andrew manages to get a score that is much better than Brian’s. So much better in fact, that everyone begins to accuse Andrew of cheating! Andrew does not like this in the least, and begins to drop bombs all over the thread. Here’s the best:
I just want to say I absolutely died while reading this. It gets so off topic that I ALMOST think it’s satire. After all is said and done Expert decides to have the three replay the mission, but it won’t be done until Monday. Why you may ask?
Seems reasonable enough right? Think again, Ashley’s response sums up the whole exchange and how ridiculous it is to a tee
Hot Damn.
Alice: Now of course, we couldn’t possibly have a UC with only ONE meltdown right? Not to be outdone by Andrew, Alice also decides to get a little feisty during the game. Unfortunately like everything else in her life, Alice comes up short. As people are complaining about how hard the mission is and how no one has finished them, Alice makes sure to tell them how easy it was for her and how awful they all are. Honestly, the whole thing was kinda lame. The best parts aren’t even Alice, but Brian and his “This is like the time shtick”. This one is the best:
Cole: Now this next meltdown is one that actually came completely out of left field. I’m still not sure what caused it to this day, but some say they just think Cole was trying to make a big move. Cole has just won HoH during BBBTB1 and is ready to make his noms. His ceremony is running smooth until time for his nomination speech. One, pretty simple with a pawn going up. The other, well let’s just look at it:
Everyone is applauding Cole’s speech, but James isn’t going to take it laying down. He offers to let everyone see the PMS between he and Cole, to prove that he’s not lying. That’s when Cole literally flys off the handle.
I think the thing that makes this meltdown so special aside from it being COMPLETELY random, is that it was so ludicrous that people actually believed it. Everyone is assuming James is the next JFP (which btw I never mentioned anything about my grandma to anyone on the site ever), and Cole has just made the first move of the game that really got the house worked up.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:16:35 GMT -5
And the winner of the Biggest Meltdown award is......
Andrew on UC7!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:21:43 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:23:36 GMT -5
And winner of the Biggest Fight category is.....
Jessica vs Cole!
"A fight for the ages. Jessica is a master troll, it's almost like taking candy from a baby. Cole on the other hand is only 12 so it seems to have fit perfectly." - Nate
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:27:41 GMT -5
Our next award is the... Biggest Scandal Award!
Scandals are fun because Drama is fun. Let's face it, we all thrive on petty drama around here. These Scandal's are some of the juiciest forum game related scandals in the site's history. A good scandal will have both sides scrambling to prove their right, and these all exemplify that.
Nate/JC (ToT) – When PGcool first pitched his “Tournament of Torture” to the members of ER, no one realized just how torturous it was going to be. Every round having 3 missions, with most rounds containing some sort of 72 hour endurance mission was to put it frankly, pretty frustrating for most of us. This all culminated when PG unleashed the most infamous (and my personal favorite) mission in the history of ER, “What a Steal”. What a Steal was a simple game, teams would compete and try and steal points from each other over a 72 hour period. The caveot was that you could only do it every 15 minutes, and the game ran at all hours of the day. Now some teams chose to have a strategy of only going for points during normal hours. Some teams split the two partners into shifts and had one going during the night and one during the day. Some teams had players such as Dewie and James who didn’t seem to sleep during the entire mission. And then there was Nate and JC. Now this is a special scandal because Nate and JC decided to share passwords so that only one person would need to be awake at a time, but they could still post as two. Now, Dewie caught the two when he noticed they shared an IP address. This is a moderator tool. Nate and JC are both moderators. They literally did not have the forethought to think that someone would be able to easily call them on their cheating. Initially they attempted to deny it but eventually admitted to cheating and accepted their fate. No punishment was ever given.
Tommy Chen (BBAS) – Tommy was the host of the fairly successful forum game series “Big Brother”. Now Tommy had decided he was going to do an All-Star season, and would be pulling out all the stops on his game in order to make it as big and grand as possible. Everything was going well until the 2nd HoH Competition. Tommy has the houseguests bet “Alicebucks” (Ok Ya’ll REALLY didn’t notice this was gonna be sketchy? They’re literally called Alicebucks. Ya’ll lucky they were even worth what he said they were.) on different powers in the house. It ends up with Expert winning the Aubree Swapper, and JC winning the Brooke HoH Key. Of course one would just assume Expert could swap his swapper for the HoH key, making the reigning HoH of the week right? Well everyone assumes that and Tommy allows it to go through. JC now has the swapper and Expert the HoH key. Here’s where things get fun. Tommy decides that for some reason the swapper should have TWO uses. That’s right, TWO is the correct number of uses for that power in Tommy’s head. The best part of all this? Tommy never mentions ANYWHERE that the swapper will have two uses. Literally no one thinks this is fair, but Tommy stands by his decision with JC swapping back for her HoH key, remaining the HoH. I also want to note Kenny’s Elle Prize Snatcher has the same basic power, but only 1 use. Consistency. In true Expert fashion, he manages to whine on the game thread and in PM’s juuuust enough to make Tommy quit hosting the game and the site for quite some time.
Andrew (UC7) – Taking advantage of everyone playing on a new site and Expert having the computer skills of a small child, Andrew figures out a way to look at the mission questions without noting that he has viewed a message. This allows him to not only beat Brian and DB at their mission, but completely annihilate their times. Of course, everyone calls him out on this because Brian is literally unbeatable at UC knowledge. Also it was inhumanly possible to read and number the answers in the amount of time Andrew completed the mission. This led to the world’s greatest outburst which lent us many wonderful quotes such as “SHE INITIATED TEXT SEX” or “KAITLYN HAS SENT ME NUMEROUS NAKED PICTURES, I'M TALKING PROBABLY 25” and also my personal favorite “JAMIE IS IN FACT VERY LARGE.” Absolutely beautiful.
Alice (Just Alice) – I could probably write all day about the scandal of Alice, and how she’s literally a walking scandal but she was nominated due to her debacle in UC7. Shortly after everyone accuses Andrew of cheating in a mission, Alice also manages to do very well in a mission. So well, that she’s one of only a couple people to actually complete it, and did so extremely quickly. Expert later comes in to confirm that Alice did not cheat. Alice is not real.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:33:43 GMT -5
The winner of The Biggest Scandal award is.... Tommy Chen of Big Brother All-Stars
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:34:45 GMT -5
My acceptance speech for Best Fight:
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:42:23 GMT -5
The winner of The Biggest Scandal award is.... Tommy Chen of Big Brother All-Stars I'm gonna accept this award on behalf of Tommy Chen. First and foremost I would like to thank Dewie and Expert for calling his cheating a** out along with myself. I have nothing but mean words to say about Tommy. f*ck him and JC. Expert you have anything to add? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:49:28 GMT -5
Our next category is.... Best Feuds.
Jon vs Kaitlyn – No one really knows where this feud started, just that it is running hot to this day. Jon and Kaitlyn both routinely take petty shots at each other, and honestly I enjoy watching it happen.
Tom vs Vova (Tonga) – The Tom vs Tonga feud started during Survivor: Tonga. Tom was very upset that Vova was brought back into the game after being the first person voted out, (smdh) and made it his mission to vote Vova out as soon as possible. This blind rage resulted in Tom being blindsided with an idol play. The feud continued into Survivor: Vietnam, where anyone who ever talked to Tom about game realized he wanted Vova out. Then, in Big Brother Back to the Basics 2, Vova is brought in as a surprise houseguest, much to Tom’s dismay. Tom then unleashes the pettiest line in all of history to Stan and I through PM. “I don’t care if I lose this game, as long as I beat Vova. I can go 2nd if Vova goes 1st”.
Superboy vs Scoiety – This wouldn’t be an issue if everyone would just accept that Chadwick is love and life. Superboy is a special character. The self-proclaimed “God” of challenge analysis, Superboy has never been wrong once in his life. One time when he was young, Superboy broke both his ankles in a gang fight (he was a member of the 10 man clan in Harlem) and had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctors told his parents his ankles would never be healed, however one day while no one was looking a crazy man ran into Superboy’s room and showed him a 15 minute Chadwick backflip compilation, which completely healed Superboy’s ankles. His parent’s missed it because they were out getting McDonald’s
Kenny vs Nate – Is not a real feud because they can tolerate each other.
Joey vs Cole – Joey vs Cole started when Joey blindsided Cole during premerge of Survivor: Bermuda. It didn’t seem to bother Cole much, but Joey developed a vendetta against Cole, going out of his way to sh*t talk him at all opportunities. This relationship could be described as Joey being a box-troll living in a small box being envious of Cole’s friends.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:50:53 GMT -5
And the winner of Best Feud is..... Jon vs Kaitlyn!
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Post by Joey on Feb 12, 2016 21:52:29 GMT -5
"This relationship could be described as Joey being a box-troll living in a small box being envious of Cole’s friends." Or Cole being a condescending retard. Either way works  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:53:12 GMT -5
bbbut you didn't win.. you can't give a speech.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:53:25 GMT -5
The winner of The Biggest Scandal award is.... Tommy Chen of Big Brother All-Stars I'm gonna accept this award on behalf of Tommy Chen. First and foremost I would like to thank Dewie and Expert for calling his cheating a** out along with myself. I have nothing but mean words to say about Tommy. f*ck him and JC. Expert you have anything to add? Yeah. I'd just like to say, I agree with all of this. James forgot to mention that I asked Tommy a million times "that the swapper is only effective once right? Like you can't use it a second time" because I knew I had to ask such a question because he was so sketch. he avoided the question up until the point when I used it and then after I used it, he hit me with a "this is big brother. Assumptions are always wrong" and I was like...  I knew I immediately had to get payback and I did. That's why he's no longer on the site. RIP Tommy Chen And I would also like to add Brooke is bae. She came in for the save and did a great job of taking over the season |
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Post by Joey on Feb 12, 2016 21:54:08 GMT -5
bbbut you didn't win.. you can't give a speech. i just did |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 21:54:37 GMT -5
Your ruining my experience.
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Post by Joey on Feb 12, 2016 22:00:24 GMT -5
Your ruining my experience.  |
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